How can I discover my weaknesses and get stronger if I deny myself the opportunity to fail?
I went into Marathon Monday knowing my challenge would be the heat and humidity, not the hills or even my general lack of sleep (averaging 4 hours a night thanks to time change woes). I started the race grateful to be lining up, knowing my training had produced solid workouts, PR’s and higher mileage volume than I had ever seen in the past. I started the race feeling warm but confident.
But I felt rough early and at mile 10 started getting goosebumps despite the warm temps and humidity, and the shivers were mixed with waves of nausea… classic signs of early dehydration, though I drank two nuuns earlier that morning and hydrated well leading up to the race too.
At mile 11 I said out loud, “What is happening to me right now?” I felt defeated and I had a long way to go. Just before mile 12 I started to wonder if I would be able to finish…
But shortly after mile 12 I discovered that magic is actually a sound, it’s the echo of Wellesley girls screaming, and my goosebumps stayed but for different reasons.
I knew it wasn’t the day to hit the goal & so I slowed it down, way down… pressing on through disappointment, telling myself there is joy in observation and in finishing, and my smile I forced at the beginning became genuine.
I found joy in popsicles, orange slices, cold towels, screaming spectators, and the brief relief in dumping water on my head every 8-10 minutes.
I crossed the finish line with very mixed emotions, in-love and elated with the experience but equally disappointed in how the day panned out. It’s easy to get caught in the negative or only share the positive, but it’s oddly jarring to feel it all.
While I want to give a huge thank you to the people of Boston, Tim, my lady gang, kind friends & my family, I would be remiss If I didn’t acknowledge and thank Monday’s weather and the unrelenting Boston course that was able to quickly identify my greatest weaknesses.
I loved the Boston experience, & I know the sting of my finish time will diminish slightly, but in acknowledging where I fell short, I can also grow, rework, and become a stronger runner on both the bad days and the good days. For that I am very thankful.
(For context, I was training for a 3:15-3:20, all signs pointed towards yes, and my day ended in 3:42… not close to a PR or my goal but here we are…)