“It’s going to be a good day,” I said as I stood in corral one before the race even started.
“It’s going to be a good day,” I whispered as I ran through mile 10 in exactly the time I had predicted (1:16).
“It’s going to be a good day…” I thought as I heard my parents yelling, “That’s our girl, that’s our Lynnie!! *Hang on, Hester!!” at mile 13.1 as I sailed through the course in 1:39:xx.
*Hang on Hester was my favorite children’s book growing up. My name was going to be Esther but my mom had a change of heart after she saw me and decided I looked like a Lynn. My dad however, still calls me Esti or Esther, and would change the story to Hang on Esther whenever he read it to me…but I digress… back to the recap.
I saw my in-laws and husband at mile 14, and was filled with joy, love, hope and gratitude!! I was still hitting paces and plugging away, focused on the task at hand, but it was in that mile I knew that it was already a good day.
At mile 16 the goal paces slowly began fading and my quads tightened and seized; my fast twitch muscles became just a thought but no longer an action I could deliver.
At mile 18 I realized I wouldn’t be able to come back from the deficit and pull off the goal. However, my attitude was unlike the blow of disappointment and defeat I felt at the Eugene marathon. I focused on the crowds, savoring the moment, the leaves, the weather, the city. It started as a good day to attempt a big goal, and then it turned into a good day for a long run.
I went out hungry and confident – I know I am capable of a sub 3:20 & faster with a little more work and a little more time. One bad race doesn’t define me or box me into a stagnant future.
While I didn’t have the day I truly thought I would, the knowledge gained is filled with answers I will only find in racing. There is no better place to discover both my strengths and weaknesses than the city that breathed life into me. The very place where I learned to walk and to run, and the place that reflects who I was and who I can become.
I lined up on Sunday morning without fear and finished supported in love. It wasn’t my day to PR, and I am truly disappointed in my performance, but it doesn’t change the fact that it was still a good day. And damn, if a 3:32:49 – 2020 squeaker BQ – is the result of everything going south, I think I have a bright future ahead.
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.” — Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
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